As a society, we grow with constant comparison both within and outside our homes. Anything that we do, say, or even wear, is mostly evaluated or judged in a comparative state. This social behavior leads to what we all face today - the need for external approval.
Anything that we do or say or wear is not good enough unless it is appreciated or approved by someone. This need creates a huge psychological vacuum within that remains parched of self love for decades.
When my boy completed his 12th and returned home in 2020 amidst the pandemic scare, our biggest relief was that he was home with us.
As discussions about his next academic move began, he had little or no clarity, neither did we. What he knew for sure was that which he did not want in life and that to me was a great clarity.
Knowing what not to do is to me, a higher clarity than knowing what to do. It comes from a deep observation of our surroundings and a well thought through decision making process.
When our family chose to have him take a break from his academic and rather engage with some work experience meanwhile, we were welcomed with multiple judgements, opinions and even criticism from those near and far. Everyone seem to have known what was best for our son except us. We respectfully heard them all, yet retained our stance.
It is never easy to look the other way when being judged and criticized. Yet if we focus on that which matters the most, shifting the direction of what to pay attention to, and what to ignore becomes relatively easy.
Earlier in Oct 2021, my son completed 1 year of his work experience. This 1 year has taught him all that an academic course may not have. Creative thinking, customer service, work ethic, taking ownership, exploring his awesome writing talent, his ability to filter his communication, balancing emotions and so much more. Yes, he may be a little behind (so called) from his batch mates. But we were never in a race anyway. The only comparison we have taught him to do, is with his own past self. Today, as he resumed his academics, I am more at peace seeing a matured, balanced and wise man walking into a college with confidence.
Our belief systems are so deeply influenced by the confinement of the social systems around us, that it becomes more than natural to follow the set course. It does take a lot of grit, courage, conviction and perseverance to break the pattern and make our own path. Yet that is where true freedom lies.
Choose freedom for yourself and for your loved ones. Break free from the set patterns. You will thank yourself forever!
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